When it comes to building confidence, self esteem and real skill it all comes down to failing.
Let me explain, recently I had a young student about 10 years old who was good but wasn’t growing because he wasn’t pushing himself.
So he was eligible to test for his next rank but when he was testing he wasn’t giving it his all and based on where he was during his last test and this test their was no growth.
He thought he could show up do the minimum and pass his test.
But I ended up failing him and it was a tough moment for him because he had tears in his eyes and you could see he was disappointed and his mom was sad too.
So I told him he had the ability to pass the test with flying colors but he needs to put for more effort when testing and to take it serious.
So about 2 weeks later I talked to his mom and asked her when he would retest.
She said she doesn’t think he was ready. This is common for a lot of parents to think when their child doesn’t pass their test.
But this thought process is based on the idea that their child failed so that means they are not ready.
This is false most of time when it comes to martial arts tests it’s because of effort and attitude which then impacts their technical test
So I told her he is ready he just needs to take the test serious and do his best.
So she agreed and brought him into test again.
This time he was more serious and tried his best. It was a night and day difference which also impacted his skill level.
Needless to say he passed his test with flying colors.
He failed but came back even stronger and did his best. Afterwards, I could see a huge improvement in his confidence and it was real confidence.
This is why failing is so important not only in martial arts….BUT IN LIFE!!